Undecided Question
Should I get pregnant again?
Hi ladies, I could really use some advice. Got married last year and got pregnant 5 months later. Then, I lost it in December 2009, had a D and C at 9 Weeks.
Well, we're really young and not 'stable' yet. My husband and I are both working as he tries to finish Auto Mechanic School.
For the past 4 months we've been barely getting by, as I'm only working a little bit. And now, my only sister and two of my cousins are pregnant! I'm soo jealous and upset!
I've been an emotional wreck lately, dealing with tons of financial and personal problems and I feel the only way to solve my problems is to get pregnant again, but I'm not sure. We're getting ready to move back to our hometown cause my husband is finishing school and getting a mechanic job there. But we may have to move in with my parents as we try to find a place of our own. We will also lose health auto insurance when my husband switches jobs.
I know I shouldn't be trying to get pregnant when we have no money, and are trying find a place to live, but I'm just dying for a baby! I feel it's the only thing that will fill this empty hole in my life. I've waited 4 months and with all these babies in the air I can't take it anymore! I feel like my family will be angry if I get pregnant again. They'll probably think it's really bad timing and I'm irresponsible or something. But I really want their support!
What should I do???
I am pretty sure I will get a ton of thumbs down for what I am about to say but that's alright! Every one of my children was conceived at a horrible time. It never was planned that way but boy did it look like it! My children never did without anything, always looked adorable, and no, I never got government assistance….not even WIC. Yes, raising a child is expensive, however, when they are infants can be one of the cheapest times if done right. Buy all major items second hand (crib, playpen, highchair, etc.) Clothing from re sale shops is wonderful, breastfeeding is free and great for you and even better for your baby. Mechanics is a job that will always be needed. If you and your hubby are ready, go for it. Don't let anyone stop you. Good luck to you with whatever you decide!
No one is ever completely ready for children. There will always be financial worries and personal stresses. It's life. However, considering your situation, what if you planned to start trying after you find your new home? If you have the date set, you have something to look forward to. You wouldn't so much feel that everyone has a baby except you, but an excitement that that will soon be you. In the mean time you can work towards getting your body healthy and ready for pregnancy. Make a conscious effort to eat healthier foods, start working out, taking prenatal vitamins, etc. You can look at this as just one step you take while you work towards your goal. Whatever you choose, Good luck!
i agree with everyone else…no one is ever ready financially for a baby but things go up and down me and my husband are trying for number two and we r not super well off but we r not in bad shape either so goooood luck!!!
I am shocked that so many people are saying you should just go ahead and do it. Why do that to your family and your child? You are already dealing with tons of financial and personal problems. Having a baby won't solve any of them. It will likely make them worse! My advice to you is to just stick it out. Baby fever doesn't last forever. Once your sister and cousin have their babies, and you see how much work it is, maybe you'll stop wanting to rush it. I feel really bad about your loss, but making a decision based on impulsivity is not exactly going to fix your situation. Why not wait until your husband switches jobs, you're in your own place, and you have some money? Don't you want your pregnancy to be a happy one, not one filled with anxiety with people being upset around you?
life never is what you expected. my kids weren't planned and we always were just "getting by" yes i did get government assistant but just while i was finishing school my husband worked 2 jobs and in the end (now) it paid off. we are doing "better" and our kids never went without, we had help from family and we also have 6 kids but if it is meant to be that you are to have a child now it will happen regardless, and with all the love you will be able to auto auto insurancee for a baby